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“What about Socialization?!” - Everyone who doesn’t homeschool

I’ll say this right from the beginning; most people who ask you this ask it from love and concern. They typically don’t ask you this question out of malice. I’ve seen some new homeschool parents really get upset and angry over family asking this question.

I admit, it used to drive me bonkers too, but I am a more experienced homeschool mom now. I can tell you honestly that 9 times out of 10, they are not asking you this question to hurt you, question your ability to homeschool, or be a pain in the rear end. They are curious and sometimes they need help understanding this new concept of homeschooling. You’ve spent months, maybe even years, researching this topic. They haven’t. So just keep that in mind when you answer your family and friends when this question comes up.

My facebook group, The Handmade Homeschooler Group, and I came up with some really great responses for you to use when you’re asked.

This list may be helpful when you don’t know what to say, or need help coming up with the right words.

This list is new homeschool mom GOLD.

How to respond when asked about Homeschooling and Socialization

“I know there are some awesome homeschool groups in my area that get together and do field trips and weekend get togethers.” - Misty

“I tell them my 3 kids (7, 4, 3) have each other. Their relationship with each other will last longer than any other. Also they socialize like adults with other adults when we go to the store or visit family.” - Katie

“I don’t particularly want my kiddos “socialized” by the culture in public schools. I much prefer socializing through time with friends at church, homeschool field trips, volunteering at various organizations, and family interaction.” - Susan

“What about it? Just because we homeschool doesn’t mean we are home all day every day.” - Keisha

homeschool-socialization — “We actually get more true socialization now, than when they were in public school. It is intentional, with a variety of ages and kids.” - Patricia

“My kids are more social than me and I went to public school. They interact with people of all ages, not just kids their age. They aren’t shy like me when it comes to talking to new people, which makes me happy!” - Brittany

“I ask them if there’s something specific about my child or children that concern them for that kiddos social skills. Usually, this question is met with blank stares. Or the occasional “homeschoolers are so weird”. To which I reply that I taught in a public school for years and know PLENTY of weird public schoolers.” - Megann

“They are around people every day. Honestly I went to public school and I was (and still am) the most unsocial person I know public school obviously didn’t help me.” - Amanda

“Sports, social events, play dates, and other group classes are all the socialization my kid needs. Who needs or wants daily socialization. BTW I post on Facebook several times a week when we are doing outings and now I only get you guys are so busy how do you have time for school.” - Teresa

“I think when asking about “socialization” really means “do your kids have friends?!” …and honestly, it is something I worry about. I don’t live in an area with a thriving homeschool community and we are newbies to all this. So when people ask me this, I don’t have a good answer. I don’t know how or if my kids will make real friends by just being in soccer/music/church/nature school. I realize this isn’t a popular answer, but it’s another perspective. I don’t worry about my kids being able to carry on a conversation or be out in the world completely unsure how to act and talk when other people are around. The interactions and activities we do take care of that. But there are nuances of friendship building they will miss out on by not bring around the same consistent group and environment each day. For us, we are willing to take the chance and at this point, pray God has a plan for them. I will also add in our area, the kids don’t wear masks or socially distance at school, and many times throughout the day at public school “socializing” is encouraged. So, I know that my kids aren’t getting opportunities to build friendships the way their teammates, etc are and I can see the potential for my kids to be the odd ones out. So, I understand why family and friends ask out of concern and at this point, I don’t have the confidence or experience to tell them any different.” - Christina

“I’m not worried about it. I’m going to get to be there while my son learns to interact with others at activities, church events and day to day tasks.” - Elizabeth

“ My children are around lots of different people with a variety of ages. We are around our extended family more. We are involved with our church. We are apart of a homeschool co-op where my children are around multiple different aged children and have different moms for teachers there. We have plenty of field trips, events, and times of fellowship with our co-op and different friends we have made in our community. My children have more time to get to know our neighbors. My children are to help their grandparents more and know many of their friends. We are apart of Taekwondo and my children are around people ages 4 to adults 3x a week. They get to visit their dad and attend events for his work or even help at farms.

My children are well rounded and more socialize than I ever was in school. They don’t have to worry about bullying and the “social clicks” that are always found at brick and mortar school (public, etc). They are actually learning and not be taught to a “test”. They are very well rounded and know what it means to serve others in need. My children are well socialized” - Amanda

“My kids are all involved in at least 3 different activities outside of our home. They get plenty of social activity.” - Ashley

“We have thankfully never gotten this one, but if we did, I would explain to them when mine was in PS, she was bullied and harassed and the teachers did nothing about it, and that those are the kind of people I don’t want her to be “socialized” with. Also, she is an extracurricular activity and does volunteer work. She is thriving and doing so well.” - Stephanie

“Socialization is not what it's cracked up to be. I put my 2 older kids Into public school when I had my third. They were only in for about a year and a half before covid hit and we went back to homeschooling. My oldest spent pretty much the entire time being bullied. I wish I would have never put them in.” - Annette

“I went to public school and my kids are way more outgoing than I am lol! They can carry on a conversation with anyone lol! They are around several people with a variety of ages! We are involved with our church. On Wednesday mornings we go to a Community Bible Study and so they're around lots of kids there! We also meet with a few other homeschool families once a week or so to do arts/crafts, go to the movies, bowling, etc They play baseball in the spring and summer And of course just being out and about like grocery shopping, the park, ball games, water parks, and many other things!” - Jessica

“Public school is not the only place that children can socialize.” - Antionette

“Every time we go to the park my daughter plays with all the kids that are there of all ages. There's also church, sports that aren't affiliated with the school and can't forget neighborhood kids! She has a couple of friends on our block that she plays with everyday. Socialization isn't just about playing with someone who's the same age. There's siblings, cousins, grandparents, adult family friends. It's your children learning how to interact and have a conversation with everyone.” - Elizabeth

“My kids get plenty of socialization at church, at the park, play dates and field trips with friends and other homeschoolers. (I don’t say this, but it’s almost like people think that homeschooled kids are locked in a basement or something )” - Rebekah

“Socialization is a myth. Do our small children really “need” socialization? Guess what they get in trouble for at public school? You got it! Socializing! Also, my child has family and friends and classes and church and that is plenty” - Missy

“I always got in trouble at school for socializing. My kids are involved in sports, American Heritage Girls, and have plenty of neighbors to play with. They’re over socialized if you ask me!” - Kyleigh

“Before pandemic like 4 years ago when I began it was difficult for me to answer but I would say , they do many extracurricular activities and church ..” - Tor Huang

“It’s our second year homeschooling and I used to be a parent that thought homeschoolers weren’t well socialized. My response now as a homeschool mom is just that. I say, “It was definitely a concern of mine prior to taking this journey. Now that we’re on our second year, I’m so thankful I didn’t let that stop us. There is a huge homeschool community that I’ve discovered during this time. Between play groups, extracurriculars, co-ops, church and homeschool sports, I’m actually having to decline socialization opportunities. I have been pleasantly surprised. I have found that being defensive doesn’t really help. I just approach it positively with an effort to inform. It’s hard to understand what you don’t know.” - Shanna

“I haven't come across any kind of negatively with homeschooling yet thankfully! This is our 2nd year. I do not worry about socialization because my son interacts with us and our extended family daily. And he is way more social and out going than I am” - Jayda

“I hear this all the time.... I tell them honestly it’s not my kids Im worried about. When I take my kids to the park they love to play with anyone there, including the kids with special needs. It’s the school kids whose parents tell them to stay away from certain kids I worry about.” - Amber

“Someone asked me that and I said we’re in the midst of a pandemic socialization is against the rules” - Mandy

“We go to church, we see family (big families for both sides), coop groups, plan events with friends, ...

Mostly I tell every in the nicest possible way... we do us, you do you! My hubby says kill it with kindness and I really really habe been working on that. We sure get alot of comments and funny looks when we are out and about during "appropriate school times" - Kamela

“I’m not worried about it. I’m going to get to be there while my son learns to interact with others at activities, church events and day to day tasks.” - Elizabeth

“ My children are around lots of different people with a variety of ages. We are around our extended family more. We are involved with our church. We are apart of a homeschool co-op where my children are around multiple different aged children and have different moms for teachers there. We have plenty of field trips, events, and times of fellowship with our co-op and different friends we have made in our community. My children have more time to get to know our neighbors. My children are to help their grandparents more and know many of their friends. We are apart of Taekwondo and my children are around people ages 4 to adults 3x a week. They get to visit their dad and attend events for his work or even help at farms.

My children are well rounded and more socialize than I ever was in school. They don’t have to worry about bullying and the “social clicks” that are always found at brick and mortar school (public, etc). They are actually learning and not be taught to a “test”. They are very well rounded and know what it means to serve others in need. My children are well socialized” - Amanda

“My kids are all involved in at least 3 different activities outside of our home. They get plenty of social activity.” - Ashley

“We have thankfully never gotten this one, but if we did, I would explain to them when mine was in PS, she was bullied and harassed and the teachers did nothing about it, and that those are the kind of people I don’t want her to be “socialized” with. Also, she is an extracurricular activity and does volunteer work. She is thriving and doing so well.” - Stephanie

“Socilazation is not what it's cracked up to be. I put my 2 older kids Into public school when I had my third. They were only in for about a year and a half before covid hit and we went back to homeschooling. My oldest spent pretty much the entire time being bullied. I wish I would have never put them in.” - Annette